Brian is walking out of the recording studio with Kevin. His cell phone rings. He answers it.
BRIAN - Hello?
CALLER - (deep voice)Do you like driving cars?
Brian looks at the caller ID on his phone.
BRIAN - Nice try, Fatone.
JOEY - Oh man.
Brian hangs up.
BRIAN - It's happening again.
KEVIN - This has nothing to do with us.
BRIAN - You can't deny it, Kevin. A guy wearing an N Sync shirt was run over by a guy wearing a BSB shirt driving a blue car in front of an arena during one of our concerts. 20,000 people watched and nobody did a thing. They thought it was a publicity stunt.
KEVIN - (English accent)It would have been a good one too.
BRIAN - Kevin, this is serious.
Kevin stops and stares dramatically at Howie, who is standing across the street.
KEVIN - Hey, look it's Howie.
Howie walks over to them winking.
HOWIE - Hey guys.
KEVIN - What's with the wink? I thought you were stabbed in the back.
HOWIE - No........I wasn't stabbed. .....I was poked in the eye. Severed nerve.....Hey what's wrong with Brian?
KEVIN - He thinks Bone has come back to kill him.
BRIAN - Kevin, this is serious!
KEVIN - Lighten up man. This isn't about us.
Howie takes his shirt off.
BRIAN - (gay voice)Howard........censor.
HOWIE - I'm gonna go dance in that fountain.(wink)
He drags Brian over to the fountain in in the center of the park.
They frolick in it like children.
HOWIE - (sings)I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?
HOWIE & BRIAN - (sings) I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, a love there is no cure for.
Kevin shakes his head and laughs at the two of them.
His cell phone rings. He answers it.
CALLER- (deep voice) Where's Brian?
KEVIN - He's not here.
CALLER - (deep voice) He's over there dancing in the pond.
Kevin looks around for someone with a phone.
CALLER - (deep voice) You'll never find me.
Kevin looks around some more.
KEVIN - What do you care? Let me have my fun....So what's up?
CALLER - (deep voice) Do you like driving cars? Blue cars?
KEVIN - Actually, I prefer royal blue.
CALLER - (deep voice) What's your favorite food?
KEVIN - My mom's cooking.....she makes a mean chili.
CALLER - (deep voice) Do you want to die?
KEVIN - No, we're in the middle of a tour right now.
CALLER - (deep voice) How can you be on tour with half of your group missing?
KEVIN - You mean AJ and Nick? Nick was a pussy ass wet rag and AJ..AJ!! What the fuck?!! What a rat-looking homo-repressed mamma's boy!
The door of the tour bus hehind them opens and he is pulled in and slaughtered to death with his own eyebrows.
Howie and Brian come back to the bus, looking all wet and hot.
HOWIE - Hey, where's Kevin?
BRIAN - Hey, who broke the window?
They pull the door open. Kevin's body is lying on the floor covered with eyebrow hair.
HOWIE - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
LATER IN THE REHEARSAL STUDIO
Howie suddenly stops dancing.
BRIAN - What?
HOWIE - Who do you think killed Kevin?(wink wink)
BRIAN - ......I don't know.
HOWIE - You still think it's connected?
BRIAN - I dunno...We could be next... I think he might be here.
HOWIE - Where?
They hear a deep voice behind them.
VOICE - (deep) right here.
They turn around. A person wearing a ghost face scream costume is standing there. He slowly removes his mask to reveal.. ............................................ .......................Rich from LFO!!
RICH - (talking into voice changer) Surprise Brian.
He tosses the voice changer aside.
RICH - Since Howie dissappeared on me, I've been on my own all night.
Thanks alot partner.
BRIAN - What? Howie?
HOWIE - No, no.
RICH - It's okay D, we got him.
HOWIE - No, he's lying!
RICH - What's the matter Howie? Think Brian's experienceing a little De javu?
HOWIE - He's lying Brian!
RICH - Bandmate, killer, bandmate, killer, bandmate, killer.
HOWIE - I am gonna kill you!
Rich whips out a blowdryer and blows it at Howie's face, messing up his hair.
HOWIE - My hair!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He collapses on the floor.
HOWIE - I would never ever hurt you.
He winks one last time before passing out
BRIAN - Howie?
Brian starts crying.
RICH - You should really start dealing wiht your trust issues, Bri. I mean, poor Howie here, such a nice boy, Good singer. This was the kind of guy you'd like to bring home to your cousin....If you had a cousin.
BRIAN - Fuck you!
RICH - So vulgar. You think AJ would have put up with this shit?
BRIAN - AJ was a sick fuck just like you!
RICH - NO, AJ was a hot and sexy sick fuck who could sing and dance. I am not.
BRIAN - Well, you're forgetting one thing about AJ Mclean.
RICH - What's that?
BRIAN - I fucking killed him.
Brian grabs the blow dryer and hits Rich over the head with it. They struggle for a while.Then suddenly the stage lights come on and music starts playing. Rich stands up.
RICH - Now, who's doing that?! Could that be...a mystery guest waiting in the wings? Told you I had a partner, Bri. Surprise cameo just for you.
Courtney Cox walks in from backstage.
BRIAN - Courtney Cox?
Courtney shakes her head. She is followed by AJ's mom, who is wearing a raincoat and hat. She is wearing a hook and is poking into Courtney's back.
BRIAN - Mrs. Mclean?
RICH - AJ'S MOTHER!!! Didn't see it coming, did ya?
AJ's mom shoves Courtney off the stage.
MOM - There are 98 active boy bands in this country. This guy here was quite a find. When I met him he said "My name is Rich. You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch." All he needed was a little guidance and nurturing.
BRIAN - As only a mother could do.
She knocks Rich out with her hook.
MOM - Rich...Nice kid but a little out there.
BRIAN - What are you gonna do?
MOM - Finish what my son started.
BRIAN - You're as crazy as your son was.
MOM - What did you just say? Was that a negative remark about my son? About my AJ?
BRIAN - No. AJ was a good boy. AJ was perfect. You did a bang up job, Mrs. Bone.
MOM - Better watch what we say. Kevin spoke poorly of Alex and I got a little eyebrow happy. You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick to death of all these boy bands! So many! Copying my son's talents! You don't know what it's like to be a mother...to love him, and guide him.
BRIAN - And kill his best friends... Isn't Rich supposed to be dead?
Mom spins around.
Brian pulls off his ear piece and wacks her across the face with it.
She is knocked out cold. Brian wakes Howie up.
BRIAN - It's over man.
They stare down at AJ's mom's body.
HOWIE - This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back for one last scare.
Brian stomps on her face.
BRIAN - Not in my movie.
THE END
Read chapter 3.