Prologue: Confusion
"Let her have what she wants." Brody Cooper told his impatient friend and attorney, Reese Hennessy.

"Are you sure? Brody, the house is worth close to a million."

"Yes, Reese, let her have it. I want her to have a nice place to live near her family and friends. She deserves that. Besides, I have my house here."

Reese shook his head. Brody could be strong-headed and unreasonable sometimes, but he couldn't fault him for being generous and fair, at least to the ones he cared about.

"Alright. I'll draw up the paperwork. How is Jocelyn doing by the way?"

Brody shook his head. How well could she be doing? They were getting a divorce. He wasn't very well himself. It had been a wild few months...



"Alright, Nick, sign here and you're a free man." Nick's attorney, Stevenson Graves told him.

Nick scribbled his signature on the last page and sighed. It was over. He couldn't believe it. The marriage that never was, was now over. He felt like such a failure and yet he knew it wasn't his fault, at least most of it wasn't.

He was only 28 years old so he had his whole life ahead of him but he knew he would never make the same mistake again. He would never re-marry. He hadn't even wanted to get married the first time.



Nick met Akira Genda two years ago when the Backstreet Boys first started recording their 6th studio album, "Unbreakable". She was a new-hire at Jive Records and their chemistry was instant. She was half Japanese, half American. Her family brought her and her sister, Suzu over from Osaka to live in Los Angeles when Akira was two so she was pretty much Americanized although she did speak Japanese fluently.

When Akira turned 22, her parents moved back to Japan. Akira had only been able to visit them once and had missed them terribly. Three years later, she had formed a life for herself in LA as a successful record company exec and had a fabulous American celebrity boyfriend.

Nick and Akira were happy and right before the Backstreet Boys' promotional tour in Japan began, Akira announced that she was pregnant with Nick's baby. Nick was shocked and rocked to the core. Not only did he not want kids, but her timing sucked. He was about to embark on an international and worldwide tour with "the boys" that would span many months. Having to be concerned about his girlfriend carrying his child during that time did not fit into his plans.

Akira begged him to take him with her to Japan and of course, he complied. Once they arrived in Osaka, she persuaded him to meet her parents. Nick liked them fine but what he did not like was being pressured into marrying their oldest daughter. It was a shame in their culture that she was unwed and pregnant. What didn't help was Akira's insistence that he comply. Of course, the rebel in him reared it's ugly head and he fought against it, but in the end, he gave in, realizing that he loved her and he really should do the right thing and marry her.

It was a simple ceremony in her parents' backyard with just Suzu and Akira's parents present. They would have loved to include more relatives, but Nick insisted they keep it small and secretive. He definitely did not need the press getting wind of this while BSB was busy promoting their new album.

Next, Nick was off to New York with the guys and Akira stayed in Osaka with her parents. Nick was carried up in a whirlwind of activity, doing talk shows and appearances with fans and press. He was busy and tired and was secretly happy his wife wasn't with him. He needed his rest. He didn't even tell Brian, AJ or Howie of his marital or father-to-be status. It was best to keep that under wraps until a more suitable time presented itself.

And when the tour was over, Nick flew back to the United States without Akira. She insisted on staying in Japan with her family. It wasn't until February, five months later when the Backstreet Boys went back to Japan to perform at their first concert, that he saw her again.

She broke the news to him that not only had she had a miscarriage, but that she wanted out of the marriage. Her father had gotten her a job at his corporate headquarters office as Vice President of Operations and an old boyfriend, Nori Nagano, had suddenly become her new boyfriend. He suspected her father had had a hand in that arrangement.

Nick was heartbroken but relieved at the same time. He didn't know how to feel. Instead, he threw himself into the flurry of activity of the tour and never looked back. That is, until almost ten months later when the tour ended and he was back home in LA. It was there he was served with a lovely "Bill of Divorcement" document.



"Alright, Nick. Take care of yourself." Stevenson shook his hand and Nick walked out of his office. Divorced. That's one thing he never thought he would be in a million years. Hell, he never thought he'd be married. Now, the tour was over and all that was left on his hands was time. What the hell would he do now? His next solo project was waiting in the wings so he decided to jump into that full throttle.



Jocelyn Gilbert met Brody Cooper at a mutual friends' wedding. He was the best man; she was the maid of honor. She was from California, he was from Florida. Jocelyn Gilbert met Brody Cooper at a mutual friends' wedding. He was the best man; she was the maid of honor. She was from California, he was from Florida. They dated a couple of times afterwards while he was in LA and then they maintained a long-distance relationship for several weeks. Brody flew out to see her every other weekend. Jocelyn didn't want to jump in bed with him until she was sure it was love, but they both eventually fell into what they thought would be a love of a lifetime. They were both wrong.

Brody was a partner in the law firm, Brody, Hennessy & Black. His firm represented divorced men and they were well known in Tampa Bay, Florida. Needlesstosay, Brody was a rich man, but he had worked hard to get there.

Impatient and frustrated with their long distance relationship, Brody proposed after only three months. Their October wedding ceremony was a large and lavish affair held at The Beverly Hills Hotel, which led to two weeks in Hawaii at a five-star hotel. It was an idyllic time for them.

Brody persuaded Jocelyn to move into his large Floridian home in spite of her hesitation. They lived there for six months, but Jocelyn was miserable. Brody worked long hours and she was left in the evenings and some weekends without any friends or family to keep her company. She worked 8-5 as administrative assistant at a real estate company and would frequently be asleep in bed by the time he got home. They found themselves growing apart before they could really grow together.

Brody felt guilty for pulling Jocelyn from the life she loved in California just to be holed up in his home alone in a foreign city and state. So, he made her happy when he announced he would buy her a home in San Marino where she had grown up and all her family and friends lived. It was a beautiful four-bedroom home on a hill, overlooking the valley. Jocelyn came alive there, reveling in spending time with the ones she loved.

It was difficult for Brody though since he had to commute to his office in Tampa. He considered leaving his practice to find one in the LA area, but the truth was his heart wasn't in it. He didn't want to live in California and she didn't want to live in Florida and they were back to hardly seeing each other again. So, a month later, Brody announced that he was moving back to Tampa. Jocelyn wasn't shocked at the news, but she was sad. They had tried to make it work, but the truth was, they were just too different and wanted different things.

So it was time to cut their losses and part as friends.

Of course, there was no need to find a divorce lawyer since ironically, Brody was one. Of course, he couldn't represent them, so Reese graciously stepped in and worked out all the details. All the negotiations were done by phone, e-mail or fax. It was a period in their lives they both wanted erased, but at least they could remain civil to one another. Thank God for small favors.

Jocelyn Hope Gilbert Cooper was confused by the events of the past year: meeting Brody, falling hard and fast, accepting his rash proposal, marrying him in a matter of months, moving to Florida, moving back to California and then her husband leaving her to go back to Florida. And now she was signing divorce papers.

How the hell did this happen? How did she let this happen? She had always thought of herself as a person with her feet on ground, not with her head in the clouds. And yet she foolishly let herself to be swept away by the handsome and charming businessman rationalizing that he was "the one" and it didn't matter where he lived or what he did for a living. And yet in the end, it did matter. Their differences widened the abyss between them until all that was left was a hollow shell of a marriage that dissolved into nothingness.

She wanted kids; he didn't. He was career-driven to the point of excess; she wasn't. She loved her job and worked hard but at the end of the day, she just wanted to hang out with her husband. But at the end of Brody's day, he wined and dined clients, played golf with buddies, worked out at the gym and watched football. She understood his job and what came with it, but it was hard to take when she didn't have a busy life of her own to pass the time. Instead, resentment built up inside her that she was alone in a city she didn't like without the people she loved surrounding her.

She had missed hanging out with her two best friends, Brooke and Chelle and her parents and siblings. She missed her life. The one she was happy with before she had met Brody Cooper. Ironically, she had her old life back now, but now she was minus a husband. It was sad that she couldn't have had both.

Sighing, she pushed the documents across the desk to her lawyer and stood up. Yes, that chapter of her life was over. It was time to move on. She wondered what was in store for her in the next chapter...



>> 1

1: Attraction
One year earlier...

"What? I can't hear you!" Jocelyn yelled over the din of voices and music.

"I said, do you want to dance?" Nick shouted, leaning forward.

"Oh, yeah, sure." She smiled. "Watch my purse, k?" She asked her friend, but Chelle grabbed her and hissed in her ear, "What are you doing?"

"I wanna dance."

"You're wasted and he's hot, Jossie. It's too dangerous!" Chelle hissed.

"I agree." Brooke, Loyal Friend No. 2, chimed in, her face joining theirs in the huddle. "Think of Brody."

Jocelyn rolled her eyes. She was drunk and she wanted to have some fun. And her friends were keeping her from doing just that.

"It's just a frickin' dance!" Jocelyn threw back at them.

"Come on," Nick said, grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor.

JT's "Sexy Back" blared from the speakers flanking the dance floor. Sexy is definitely back, Nick thought as he watched Jocelyn move on the dance floor. They both moved in rhythm to the music, sneaking glances at each other's bodies and making eye contact when possible. They were both drunk and feeling no pain but the initial attraction was there. He was attracted to her flowing blonde hair, luminous blue eyes and curvaceous body and she was attracted to his tousled highlighted blond locks framing a handsome face and t-shirt and tight blue jeans hugging his rugged frame.

The song ended and Jocelyn said, "Whew, I think I better sit down. But thanks for the dance." She was feeling dizzy.

Nick followed her off the dance floor and then touched her arm. She turned around and fell against him.

"Whoa. Are you okay?" He steadied her onto her feet.

"Yeah, thanks. Just a little dizzy. I'm alright now." Jocelyn self-consciously stepped away from him.

"Well, I was going to offer to buy you a drink but it looks like you've had enough." He said with a smirk.

"That wouldn't be a good idea anyway." She said.

"Why not?" He cocked his head.

"Because I'm getting married next Saturday." And it's too bad because you're hot. Did she just think that?

"Good for you." He laughed. Too bad, he thought. What are you saying, Nick? You're got Akira. "He's a lucky guy." How original, Nick, he berated himself.

Suddenly, strains of Brittney Spears' "Toxic" erupted into the air. Groaning, Jocelyn walked towards the open front door where it was quieter and leaned against a wall. It felt good to lean against a steady surface, although leaning against Nick's hard chest a minute ago hadn't been so bad... Nick stood next to her, smiling.

"You look familiar. Are you on TV or something?" She asked.

Nick laughed. "I'm Nick Carter. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand.

Nick Carter. Nick Carter. Where did she know that name?

She accepted his outstretched hand. "From the Backstreet Boys? Wow. I'm honored. I'm Jocelyn Gilbert. A virtual unknown."

Nick chuckled. "Nice to meet you, Jocelyn."

"Hey, aren't you guys coming out with a new album soon?"

"Yep. On October 30th." Nick said proudly.

"Cool. My younger sister, Savannah loves you guys and has been dying to get her hands on it. She's especially a fan of you, Nick."

"What about you? Are you a fan?" He raised an eyebrow.

She didn't know if he meant of the Backstreet Boys or him personally. "Uh, I..."

"There you are! I've been looking for you!" Chelle suddenly appeared.

"Nick, this is my annoying friend, Chelle. Chelle, Nick Carter."

"Hi." Chelle reluctantly greeted him. She didn't care if it were Brad Pitt standing there. Her main concern was her friend and getting her back to her fiancé unscathed, sexually, that is.

"Hey." Nick nodded.

"Come on back to the table, Joce, Brooke and I got some appetizers." Chelle urged her friend.

"Nick, did you want to join us?" Jocelyn asked him.

"Uh, sure but only if it's okay with your friends." Both Nick and Jocelyn looked at Chelle.

Jossie, say goodnight to the cute boy, don't torture him any further... Chelle thought, but she smiled and said, "Sure. The more the merrier."

The threesome walked back to the table.

"Hey, Brooke, this is Nick. Nick, this is Brooke." The two exchanged pleasantries and Nick sat next to Jocelyn on the barstool.

"So, Nick, are you here alone?" Chelle asked, taking a bite of nachos.

"No, I came with a friend, but he found someone else to be with." He half-laughed and the three girls got his meaning.

"Oh. So, you do know that Jocelyn is engaged, right?" Jocelyn shot Chelle a "I'm going to kill you" look, but she ignored it.

"Yeah, she told me. I have a girlfriend anyway."

Jocelyn looked at him, surprised.

"Oh, really. So, where is she?" Brooke asked.

"She's out with some friends. She doesn't do the bar scene."

"Aw, smart girl." Chelle murmured under her breath.

"Huh?" He asked, the music rose to an all-time high, the drumbeats almost unbearable.

"Nothing!" Chelle yelled.

"So, if your album is coming out soon, why aren't you out promoting it?" Jocelyn leaned in close to Nick so he could hear her, shutting the other two out of the conversation.

"We have been. I'm just back home for a little while. We leave in a couple of days for Japan." Nick had just ordered another beer and munched on some chips.

"Cool. Hey, I wish you well with that. I know Savannah will be first in line to buy the new album and I'm sure she'll drag me to one of your concerts. Oh, no offense." Jocelyn laughed realizing how that probably sounded.

Nick laughed. "Uh, none taken. So, where are you getting married?"

"The Beverly Hills Hotel. It's a huge affair. Too huge if you ask me. Brody, my fiancé invited everyone he knows, I think. I mean, there's going to be a lot of my friends and family there, of course, but he's flying a lot of his friends and family out from Florida to attend, too."

"Florida? I'm originally from Florida. What part?"

"Tampa mostly."

"No shit? That's where I'm from."

Jocelyn's eyes got wide. It was a small world. She didn't know enough about Nick to know that was his hometown, although she was sure most of his fans probably knew that.

"Really? That's wild."

"How did you guys meet if you live here and he lives in Tampa?"

"At this one's wedding." Jocelyn pointed at Brooke across the table. "Brody is her husband, Garrett's best friend. They went to college together."

Nick shook his head.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. It's just that that name, Brody reminds me of a movie I was in a few years ago called The Hollow. That was the name of the character I played."

Jocelyn giggled. "Okay, what other coincidences can we come up with? Wait, I'm sure your favorite football team is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, right?"

Nick smiled and nodded.

"But of course. I know I should probably know this, but how many siblings do you have?"

"An older sister, a younger brother and two younger sisters."

Jocelyn's eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open.

"No way! He has the same?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, except that he's the oldest, but he has a younger brother and three younger sisters."

"Okay, now this is just getting scary." Nick laughed.

"Yeah, weird." Jocelyn smiled.

"Hey, maybe I know him. He's not in show business, is he?"

Jocelyn smiled and shook her head. "Nope. He's a lawyer, a partner in a law firm."

"Ah, okay. Well, I already have a lawyer, but if I need another one, maybe I'll look him up." Nick teased.

Jocelyn shook her head.

"What?" Nick asked.

"Oh, God, Nick, I hope you don't ever need to use Brody as a lawyer."

"Why?"

"Because he's a divorce lawyer."

"Alright, you, too. What are you talking about over there? We want in." Chelle interrupted. The music had stopped momentarily. Both Nick and Jocelyn turned to look at them. They had been so engrossed in their conversation; they had almost forgotten other people were around.

"Oh, sorry, you guys." Jocelyn said.

"So, is this like your bachelorette party or something?" Nick asked her.

"Yeah, kind of. The girls didn't want to get me a stripper so they just brought me here." Jocelyn teased.

"Hey, don't blame that on us. We would have but you said you would be too embarrassed." Brooke retorted.

Nick looked at Jocelyn. "Is that true?"

She nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, she's right. It's embarrassing how they dance around and practically have sex with you. I saw what the guy did to Brooke at her bachelorette party. I was so embarrassed for her!"

"Oh, you didn't want in on the action?" Nick smiled, taking a swig of his beer.

"Nah uh. I'd feel like an idiot." Jocelyn said.

"Oh, don't let her fool you. This one is a harlot in sheep's clothing." Chelle said.

"Chel!" Jocelyn protested.

"Hey, the only reason you didn't get into the stripper was because you hadn't had enough to drink yet!" Chelle laughed. "Nick, you should see her when she's been drinking, the girl can become quite the bad girl. That's why I've had my eye on her all night."

"Chelle, you bitch. I'm am not a bad girl."

Nick laughed. He was enjoying the conversation. "Hey, what's wrong with being bad once in awhile?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Yeah, I just bet you are a bad boy, Nick Carter. She thought. Why did the thought make her heart race faster and her blood pump harder in her veins?



>> 2

2

"Oh! Sorry about that." Nick was walking out of Table 8 and Jocelyn was walking in and they collided.

"Jocelyn?"

"Nick? Oh my God, how are you?" They hugged briefly.

"Good. And you? You look great."

She smiled, a blush appearing on her face. "Thank you. You look great, too. So, I take it you're leaving?" She laughed.

"Yeah, and you're going in?" He smiled.

"I'm meeting Chelle and Brooke. Chelle lives nearby and we love the food here."

"The food is awesome." He agreed.

Both of them had things to say, but didn't know how to say them.

"Did you want to keep me company before they arrive? I'm a few minutes early and we could sit in the bar."

Nick hesitated. He would love to, but should he, was the question. God, it was great to see her again. She looked better than he remembered. "Sure." He turned and opened the front door of the restaurant for her.

They sat at one of the tables in the bar and looked at one another.

"So, how's married life been treating you?" Nick asked.

Jocelyn's face fell and she shook her head. "Not well. We got divorced a few weeks ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" The irony of their parallel situations hit him.

"I'm taking it one day at a time. What about you? Did you ever get married?"

"Yes, but it's the same story."

"You're divorced, too? Oh, Nick, that's too bad. I'm sorry, too."

"Yeah, well, it sucks, but what are ya gonna do? You've gotta move on."



***



A year earlier...



"So, Nick, it was very nice meeting you. Oh, wait, before I forget, I need to get your autograph for my sister. She'll kill me if I don't!" Jocelyn said in the parking lot. It was 1:00 am and both Nick and Jocelyn were coming down from their alcoholic buzz and were tired.

"Hey, I have a poster in my car. Let me go get it." Jocelyn followed him to his car. Nick deactivated the alarm and popped his trunk. He rummaged around in a tote bag and came up with a 10 x 12 poster of the Backstreet Boys. He produced a black Sharpie as well, so he scribbled, "To My Biggest Fan, Nick" on the bottom and handed it to her.

She looked at it and melted. "Aw, that was so nice of you. Thanks!" She leaned in to give him a hug but she wasn't prepared for her body to respond to his hard chest against her soft one; his strong arms around her and his breath against her neck. She pulled her head back to look into his eyes and she could tell it had taken him by surprise as well. Suddenly their lips were pressing against one another's urgently, sucking the breath from their bodies and causing a whirlwind of desire to flow between them. All coherent thought had left their brains temporarily.

Thank God, Chelle and Brooke are waiting in the car, Jocelyn thought as she was jolted back to reality. And as if sanity was suddenly restored to both of them, Jocelyn and Nick pulled away at the same time.

"Wh... what was that?" She tried to catch her breath.

"I... I don't know... I'm sorry, Jocelyn." Nick looked just as perplexed. As much as he had wanted to do that all night, he hadn't planned on actually going through with it; he hadn't planned on being untrue to Akira.

Jocelyn was shaken to the core. She always never done anything like that before; cheated while in a committed relationship. But was kissing considered cheating? It didn't matter; it wasn't the right thing to do to Brody and she felt guilty.

"It's okay. I better go." Jocelyn said, suddenly in a rush to leave.

"Good luck with your marriage." Nick said.

"Good luck with the tour." She said.

And then they parted, thinking they would never see each other again...



***



"Nick, do you think the fact that we kissed that night, at least to some extent, affected the outcome of our marriages?" Jocelyn voiced what Nick had already thought about.

"I don't know." He answered honestly. "I'm sure it didn't help."

"Did you ever tell her about it?"

Nick shook his head. "You?"

"No. It wasn't worth it. It was just a moment of temporary insanity."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Is that all it was?" He had wondered about that, too.

"You don't think that's what it was?"

Nick sighed. He didn't want to share what he really thought. The truth was that he had thought about Jocelyn a lot in the past year; too much probably. At a time he should have been thinking about his wife, he was thinking about her and about what might have been if they hadn't been committed to other people. And even though he was now single again, he was broken and bruised; definitely not ready to start something, to start anything with anyone...

"Yeah, that's all it was." Nick finally said.

Jocelyn looked at Nick. She could tell by the look on his face, that a myriad of emotions were flooding his brain. She suspected he was conflicted and she didn't blame him. They had met at a time when they were both in other relationships, not free to explore what now they can only think of as "what might have been". Would it have been just a passing attraction which could have been easily suppressed by a night of unbridled sex or could it have been more? She knew that the thought had crossed her mind more than once over the past year. She had seen a spark between them that could possibly be more than just a one-night stand. It could have been the difference between them being divorced and happily together now and it scared the hell out of her. It was best that they both run for the hills...

"You're right." Jocelyn agreed. The looked into each other's eyes and saw the same thing; a lie that they were both telling themselves, knowing the truth would force them to face their ultimate fear; the fear of once again getting their hearts ripped out and stomped on.

"Did you ever make it to one of BSB's concerts?" Nick changed the subject.

"Unfortunately, no, but Savannah went to a couple of them with her friends. She raved about you guys." About you, Nick. She raved about how hot you were, how good your voice sounded and it made me think of you...

Nick smiled. It's not like he would have seen her anyway unless she was had front row seats, was a ticket winner or had a backstage pass. But he had wondered more than once if she was in the crowd at any of their shows, secretly hoping he would see her again...

"Did she like the autographed poster?"

"Uh, yeah. She screamed when I gave it to her." Jocelyn laughed.

Nick chuckled. "Good, I'm glad she liked it."

"And she loved the album. I actually really like it, too."

Nick smiled at her and wondered if she was just being polite.

"Thanks. We liked it, too."

"You guys wrote some of the songs, didn't you?"

"Yeah, three of them. I'm surprised you knew that."

"Yeah, well, I'm into lyrics. When I buy a CD, I'm always looking to see if the lyrics are printed in the insert. Yours weren't, but I read who wrote each song. You guys are great writers, but you also work with great writers. I've always loved your lyrics."

"I honestly didn't think you were a fan." Nick chuckled.

"I am, I just haven't been to any of your concerts. So, what was it like touring without Kevin?"

"Weird at first. Of course, we missed him, but we still had a great time together and had another kick ass tour."

"Cool. I'm glad for you guys. You deserve it."

"Hey, thanks. I appreciate that." Nick was flattered.

"So, what are you working on now that the tour has ended?" She asked.

"I have a movie coming out and a solo project beginning. I'll be busy." He smiled.

"Yeah, I would imagine you always are." She returned the smile.

"What about you? What's happening in the life of Jocelyn Gilbert or, er, uh, whatever your last name is now." He realized his faux pas and felt stupid.

"Yeah, I gave up Cooper, literally and figuratively." She laughed and it put him at ease. "Anyway, to answer your question... I'm working as an Office Manager for a real estate company in downtown LA. And I'm considering going to school to get my real estate license. My company offered to pay for it which is cool."

"Sweet. So you want to be a real estate agent?"

She nodded. "Yeah. It's a lot more lucrative than what I'm doing now but also a lot scarier."

"I think you'll be great. Good luck." Nick said.

"Thanks. Oh wait, I see Brooke. I'll be right back."

A couple of minutes later, Brooke walked up with Jocelyn.

"Hey, Nick, how are you?" Brooke asked.

"Good. And you?"

"I'm fine. Hey, Joce, you'll never believe this, but Chelle just got engaged!"

"What? Her and Russell have only been dating for six months!"

"Yeah, well, what about you? It was only three months before you got engaged." Brooke said.

"Yeah and looked what happened to my marriage." Jocelyn said wryly.

"Oh, shit, Jocelyn, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking." Brooke's face went pale.

Jocelyn smiled. "It's okay. I'm just concerned. We've only met him a couple of times but I'm just not sure he's the right guy for her."

"What about Garrett? Did you think he was the right guy for me?"

"Yeah, I loved Garrett. It was his best friend I have a problem with." Jocelyn said. Nick and Brooke looked at each other.

"I'm just kidding. Brody is a great guy. We just weren't great together."

"No shit." They heard a voice behind them. "And so now you're hooking up with Nick again?"

They all turned to see Chelle standing there, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Just kidding, Nick. It's good to see you."

Nick smiled. "Yeah, same here."

Jocelyn and Brooke noticed that Chelle was cheerful, a departure from her usual cynical self.

"Why, Miss Chelle, I do believe getting engaged has agreed with you." Jocelyn said in her best Miss Scarlet accent. "Congrats, girlfriend!" She gave her a hug.

"Thanks. Obviously, Brooke couldn't wait. She had to open up her big mouth." Chelle shot Brooke a dark look.

"Yeah, sorry, Chel." Brooke looked properly subdued.

"You're forgiven. Did you guys want to go get a table?"

"Sure." Brooke said.

"You guys go ahead. I'll be right there." Jocelyn said.

"OK." The girls walked away, chatting aimlessly.

"So, I know you just ate, but did you want to join us?" Jocelyn asked Nick.

"Nah. I have things I need to do. But it was great catching up with you."

"Yeah." Jocelyn was quiet. A part of her was sad that he was leaving but another part of her was relieved. He caused quite a stir inside of her and she wasn't ready to open her heart again, at least not yet.

"Take care of yourself, Jocelyn." He bent to kiss her cheek. It left a searing mark of desire in its wake.

"You, too, Nick. Good luck with everything." She smiled sadly at him.

She watched as he walked away. Damn it. Why was she flushed and her heart was beating a million miles a minute? He wasn't supposed to have that affect on her again - not a year later, not after all she had been through.

Determined, she grabbed her purse and went to meet her friends, but Nick Carter still lingered in the back of her mind...



>> 3

3: Fateful

"So, where do you want to go for your birthday, Vanna?" Jocelyn asked her youngest sister. She had promised to take her out to celebrate turning 21.

"I want to go to all the places that you have seen Nick so we can hopefully run into him." Savannah answered.

Jocelyn had been taking a sip of coffee and she about choked on it. It had been two weeks since she had run into Nick at Table 8 and there hadn't been a day that she hadn't thought about him since then.

"I... I don't know if that's a good idea." She said quietly.

"Why not? You said he was into you and I know you're into him and I can play matchmaker and get to meet him at the same time. It's a win/win situation." Savannah said matter-of-factly as she ate her cereal.

Jocelyn stared at her as if she had seen a ghost. "Now you're just being ridiculous. We both just got out of relationships. Why would you think we would want to jump into another one?" She had asked herself the same thing many times and still couldn't quite convince herself that it was a bad idea.

"Hey, I'm not talking about getting serious. Just have a little fun for once in your life, Joce. You guys are both young and single, so, why not? Sex with a hot guy isn't the worst thing you could do!"

"Savannah!" Jocelyn blushed. She and her sister didn't talk about sex very often, at least not so candidly.

"Hey, I'm just saying..."

"Yeah, I know what you're saying." Jocelyn said. What you don't understand is that it wouldn't just be sex with Nick. He means more to me than that... She thought, but of course, she wouldn't admit that to her sister.

"Just think about it. There could a lot of perks. You could introduce me to the Backstreet Boys and..."

"You bitch. You're just using me to meet the band." Jocelyn laughed.

"What band?" Their brother, Kameron wanted into the room.

"The Backstreet Boys." Savannah said as she stood up to put her bowl in the sink.

"Oh, God, that's right. You guys like them. I just don't get it." He shook his head and grabbed the coffee carafe from its resting place.

"Well, you wouldn't. And we don't get your love for The Grateful Dead and Jimi Hendrix." Savannah retorted.

"Hey, those dudes can jam. Don't be knockin' the classics!" He protested as he sat down at the table, coffee cup in hand. He reached over to grab one half of Jocelyn's bagel.

"Hey! Get your own!" Savannah lightly smacked his hand, but Kam just grinned and took a bite.

"I don't mind. I can't eat anyway." Jocelyn said, stood up and put her plate in the sink. She was dealing with a lot of emotions right now...

"So, we're going to Table 8 for dinner, Koi for drinks and Cabana Club for dancing, right?" Savannah said to Jocelyn.

Jocelyn rolled her eyes. She was getting too old for all of this. She had just turned 31 and she had only gone to the Cabana Club with Brooke and Chelle that night because they insisted on taking her out for her so-called "bachelorette party". But she had to admit that going out with Savannah and her friends might be what she needed to get her mind off Brody and Nick. She had been so down lately...

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want, sis. I told you I'd take you anywhere you want. So, which friends are you bringing?"

"Ronnie and Alyssa."

"Not Gina?" Jocelyn asked.

"Nope. We all kind of stopped talking to her. After she stole Ronnie's boyfriend, that was it."

"Thank God. I couldn't stand her." Jocelyn said. She liked Ronnie and Alyssa. It should be a fun time.

"Alright, enough girl talk. What do you guys want to do today?" Kam asked.

"I don't know, but where are Mom and Dad? They never sleep in this late." Savannah said.

It was the day after Christmas and the three siblings had spent the night at their parents' house in San Marino. It had been a hard day for Jocelyn since Brody hadn't been there but she was grateful she had her family's love and support through it all.

"We're here! Good morning, all!" Monique Gilbert walked into the kitchen.

"Yes, it is a good morning." Josh Gilbert walked in behind her.

"My, my, aren't we chipper this morning?" Jocelyn said, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek.

"It's a beautiful day!" Monique said, glowing.

"It sure is." Josh agreed, smiling.

"Oh, God, I don't want to know why you guys are so damn happy this morning." Savannah groaned, knowing all too well why. "I'm going to get dressed."

"Yeah, me, too." Jocelyn said, exiting behind her sister.

"Good idea." Kameron said as he grabbed his coffee cup and practically ran out.

Josh and Monique looked at each other, smiled and knew that their kids would be happy they missed seeing them kiss right now...

Nick had had a rough two weeks. Things didn't seem to be going well. His movie, "Fast Glass" was going straight to video so there wouldn't be theater release and getting back into the studio to record wasn't as therapeutic as he thought it would be. Somehow he felt he was floundering, searching for a purpose for what he was doing. What was the purpose? Why did doing what he normally loved doing seem so dull and mundane?

And to top it all off, his Christmas was less than stellar even though he spent it with good friends. Akira wasn't there this year, but he hadn't been thinking about her; a dark-haired, green-eyed goddess haunted his thoughts try as he might to forget about her.

He couldn't help wondering what Jocelyn was doing. Was she with her family? Was she happy? He hoped she was. He didn't want her to be miserable like he was, bemoaning his fate and feeling empty. He had fought his feelings for her for over a year now and now suddenly he couldn't remember why. How come you never got her phone number, you idiot?

"Hey, Nick, a bunch of us are going out Friday night, do you wanna come?" His best friend, Chris broke into his thoughts.

"Sure." Nick said absentmindedly.

"Hey, are you alright, dude?" Chris asked.

"Uh, yeah. I'm okay," Nick said, but he knew that only one thing would make him okay...

"Damn, no sign of Nick here either. You girls ready to head over to the Cabana Club?" Savannah asked. They had had dinner at Table 8 and drinks at Koi. Savannah and her two friends had been eagle-eyed the entire time, looking for the familiar blue-green eyed, blonde-haired man of the night.

Jocelyn found herself having a good time, in spite of her three companions constantly talking about Nick and the Backstreet Boys, singing their songs and sharing memories of concerts and interviews. Even if she wanted to get Nick out of her mind, it wasn't going to happen because his name came up quite a bit in conversation.

"Don't you guys want to talk about something else? What about your boyfriends or college?" Jocelyn finally said. Ronnie had just described how Nick looked like he had a hard-on onstage and she had had enough. She didn't need to be thinking about Nick's hard-on on top of everything else; it was just too much to take if she would probably never see him again...

The crowd at the Cabana Club was as they had expected; the line was around the block. The four women took their spots and waited their turn. It took an hour and a half until they finally made it inside so they were grateful when they were able to snag some seats from an exiting party.

"Awesome! We scored!" Savannah said. The girl had been spoiled all night. Her sister and friends had so far made her 21st birthday the best one. Now all she needed was to get her sister laid, she thought. She laughed at herself. She probably should be the one wanting that, but she didn't. She dated off and on but she wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment. She was attending college as a junior, majoring in art, hoping to have a career as a graphic artist, as well as working part-time as a receptionist at an art gallery and that's all she had time for at the moment, beside her family and friends, of course.

The women giggled, drank and danced for the next two hours, always making sure someone stayed behind to watch their table and drinks. They were all comfortably numb from their alcoholic intake and things seemed funnier than they actually were. At midnight, all four of them were sipping their drinks as Savannah shared the story that when she was at BSB's concert in LA, she ran up to the front of the stage and threw a long stemmed red rose. She had expected it to land on the stage for one of the guys to pick up but just when she threw it, Nick bent down to sing to the front row and it ended up hitting him on the side of the face.

"Oh, God, I was petrified! I was like, oh my God, not Nick! I was praying I didn't hurt the man!" Savannah exclaimed and the girls roared with laughter.

"Don't worry, it didn't hurt that much." A deep voice said behind them and suddenly all eyes turned to see the man himself.

Nick was casually leaning against a column situated next to their table. A few minutes ago, he had been walking back to his table after dancing and he looked over and spotted Jocelyn. His heart leapt in his chest and he couldn't believe his good fortune. Here sat the woman he had been yearning to see again; the woman of his dreams the past two weeks, or more specifically, the past year.

He watched as she smiled and laughed with three other women. They looked younger than her-college girls, maybe? He wondered if one was her sister, Savannah. He saw a girl with the same features as Jocelyn with dirty blonde hair and the same dazzling smile. That must be her, thought. He didn't want to intrude so he watched and waited for his opening. He could only hear bits and pieces of their conversation because the music was so loud, but once it died down a little, he could make out Savannah's Backstreet Boys concert incident and recalled the night it had happened. It was the first time he remembered being hit in the face with a rose and he was thankful the thorns had been removed.

Jocelyn's mouth opened and closed at the shock of seeing Nick again. They had actually forgotten their quest to stake him out after alcohol and giddiness had taken over. It was ironic that when they had stopped looking, he appeared. Kind of like when you're not looking for love and it falls in your lap, right, Jocelyn? She thought.

"Nick? Nick Carter! Oh my God, we've been looking for you!" Savannah gushed.

Nick laughed. "Oh, really? Well, you found me." His voice was deep and throaty and it made Jocelyn melt. Damn you, for being so sexy, she thought.

"I'm Savannah, these are my friends, Ronnie and Alyssa and this..." she pointed to Jocelyn, "is my big sister, Jocelyn. I'm told you two have already met." She beamed.

Nick shook everyone's hand in turn and then turned his gaze to Jocelyn. They locked eyes and their heartbeats matched one another's as smiles curved knowingly on their lips.

"Jocelyn." Nick nodded.

"Nick." She nodded back.

He took her hand and held it. Tingles ran from her fingers to her spine as she felt his warm touch.

"Hey, guys, do you mind coming with me to the bathroom?" Savannah winked at her friends and they got the picture.

"Nice to meet you, Nick." They said and then scooted out of there.

"Well, that wasn't obvious." Nick laughed.

Jocelyn smiled. "Yeah, I know. Sit down. How are you?"

Nick sat and looked at her. "Better now."

"Nick, I..." She began but couldn't finish because his soft lips ascended upon hers. She kissed him back, matching his intensity with her own, his hands framing her face, hers gripping his shoulders. God, she had forgotten how good his kisses were...

When they pulled away, Jocelyn rested her head on his shoulder.

"That was so good. I missed you." She whispered, not believing she had let her feelings slip out.

He kissed her forehead. "Thank God. I was hoping I wasn't the only one."

"How can this be happening?" She asked, her heart full of joy.

"I don't know, but it is." He said, ecstatic as she was.

"Let's go somewhere private." Jocelyn said.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm sure." She took his hand and then stood up together. Jocelyn led the way towards the restrooms and ran into the girls.

"Hey, sis, uh, Nick and I are going to go someplace and talk. I'll catch you guys later, okay?" Jocelyn said, blushing, feeling like a schoolgirl sneaking away with boy.

"Take your time. Hey, it was nice meeting you, Nick. Sorry about the rose." Savannah said.

"No problem. I appreciate the gesture. It was nice meeting all your girls." He said.

Jocelyn took his hand and led him to the back patio. He didn't care where they were going, as long as he was with her.



>> 4

4: Passion

Jocelyn ignored the smokers and clubbers deep in conversation. She didn't care about them; she was there for one purpose and purpose only.

Spying her spot, she led Nick to the very back corner of the patio. It was perfect: Dark, isolated, private. There was a small table and two chairs occupying the space and Jocelyn pushed Nick into the chair with his back facing a brick wall. She then proceeded to straddle him, rubbing herself against his semi-hard cock, which rapidly turned into an extremely hard cock. From the casual observer, they looked like two people just making out.

"Oh, God, Joce..." Nick moaned, grabbing her head and yanking her mouth to his. Their wet tongues flicked in and out of eager mouths while Jocelyn's hands played with his fly. She stood up slightly so she could coax his pants and underwear down as Nick lifted himself up an inch to accommodate her. They ended up at his ankles and Nick grabbed her panties and pulled them down and off her. Thank God I wore a skirt, Jocelyn thought. Her next thought was to impale herself on Nick's hard dick immediately. The alcohol laced with an extreme sexual attraction for him led her actions now. She slid down him like silk, his low moans generating even more moisture in her pussy. Pulsating up and down slowly on his rock hard organ, Nick guided her hips with his hands, his slitted eyes laced with desire and passion stared at her own. And what they saw in each other's eyes was pure unadulterated lust.

Nick couldn't maintain the gaze because she was riding him liking a fucking bronco causing him to muffle his feverish moans into her mouth. Shit, she was good at that... it felt so fucking good! Jocelyn was losing the battle for control as well, thankful her own cries were silenced by his lips. Nick held her tight against him as she felt her orgasm overtake her, her walls gripping his cock, her body shuddering its sweet release. "Nick, oh, God, Nick..." She whispered against his lips as she continued to spasm again and again in multi-orgasmic ecstasy. Nick's dick twitched its response, causing him to come like he never had. His hold on her tightened as he climaxed against her body, coming inside her again and again.

They collapsed against one another, holding each other and breathing heavily. Suddenly voices and music accosted their ears as they became aware of their surroundings. As discreetly as they could, they pulled their clothing back on and tried to be non-chalant about their exit. As they passed people, they realized that they really had gotten away with it. The knowledge made them both secretly happy.

As they entered the club, Nick pulled Jocelyn aside and said, "That was so good. Thank you."

He looked at her face and realized that he may have said the wrong thing. The thank you wasn't supposed to sound condescending; it was supposed to be a genuine gesture of gratitude but he realized that it may not have come across that way.

"What's wrong?" He asked wondering if maybe something else was wrong...

"I... Nick, I don't feel so good..." Her face was turning green and he recognized the signs.

"Come on." He took her hand and made a beeline to the restroom. But just before they got there, Jocelyn pushed Nick away and threw up all over the carpet in front of the women's restroom. It was felt good to get it out, but she felt like shit emotionally. Oh God, oh, God, I never throw up! Why did I have to do that now, with Nick standing there, watching me! Humiliation reigned supreme as Jocelyn tried to find some dignity by standing up and trying not to cry.

"Are you okay?" A concern Nick asked.

Just then, Savannah walked out of the restroom. "Jocelyn? Oh, God, are you alright?" She assessed the situation and quickly went to her sister's aid.

"No, I'm not. I know I drove, but can you drive me home?" Jocelyn asked weakly, too embarrassed to even look at Nick.

"Sure, sis. Let me help you to the car and then I'll come back and tell the girls."

"Hey, Savannah, I can tell them if you want." A cavalier Nick volunteered.

Savannah smiled at him gratefully. "That would be great, Nick. They're probably at the table or the dance floor. They know where the car is parked. Thank you."

She helped Jocelyn walk towards the exit and Nick watched them forlornly. Damn, this was not the way he wanted it to end. He was hoping to hang out with her some more or at least get her phone number this time. He hoped she would feel better. He knew what it was like to get sick from drinking too much.

"Just so you know, someone got sick near the women's restroom." Nick informed the bartender and he nodded his thanks.

"Hey, girls, Jocelyn isn't feeling well, so Savannah took her to the car. I think they're ready to leave." Nick told Alyssa and Ronnie. They looked appropriately concerned and quickly left. He didn't know whether to follow them or not. Should he go see if Jocelyn was okay or should he just leave her alone? Doubt got the better of him so he just stayed put.

Sighing, he went back to his group of friends. "There he is! What happened to you? Did you meet some hot chick?" His friend Steve asked.

"Oh, you know me." Nick said. He didn't want to talk about Jocelyn. He wanted to keep her to himself, at least for awhile, at least until he knew where they stood. Where they stood? They had had hot sex on the back patio of a nightclub, she got sick and he still didn't know how to get in touch with her. Before that, they had had a couple of really nice conversations. Conversations and sex did not constitute a relationship. He was terrified of getting hurt again and yet he wanted her. He wanted her beyond reason.

Jocelyn awoke Saturday morning with a massive hangover. She stumbled out of bed and found Savannah drinking orange juice in the kitchen.

"Good morning, sleepy head, how you do you feel?" Savannah asked.

"Ugh, terrible." Jocelyn said down and put her head in her hands. "And why exactly am I at your apartment and not my house?"

"Because I was falling asleep at the wheel and I had to bring Ronnie and Alyssa here anyway. I figured you could wake up and drive yourself home."

Hmm, sounded sensible and logical, Jocelyn thought. Ronnie and Alyssa were Savannah's roommates as well as her best friends. How come her sister had a better head on her shoulders than she had?

"Can I ask you something, sis?" Jocelyn lifted up her head.

"Sure. Ask away."

"How come you didn't try to stop me from marrying Brody?"

Savannah smiled. "Aw, well, isn't that the million dollar question?" She sighed. "I don't know. I liked Brody and you're my sister. You were happy and wanted to get married and I hoped it was the right thing to do."

"You hoped it was the right thing?! You should have said something, I would have listened to you!" Jocelyn protested.

Savannah shook her head. "No, you wouldn't have. You were so infatuated with the man, you would have just been pissed off at me."

"God, I hate it when you're right." Jocelyn said and Savannah laughed.

"Was I right about Nick? What happened between you guys before you upchucked her dinner?"

"I don't want to talk about it." The truth was she didn't want to relive it. It meant sorting out feelings and desires and wants and opening up a can of worms she just wanted to stay tightly sealed at the moment.

"I see you don't want to kiss and tell. I guess your make-out session on the back patio was that good."

Jocelyn's mouth fell open. "You were spying on us!"

"No, we weren't. We were just curious, that's all. So, we just kind of perused the place and happened to see you two in the back corner, that's all."

Jocelyn got a lump in her throat. What all did they see? She didn't want to ask. A telling bright red haze spread over her cheeks.

"Wh... what did you see?" She choked out.

"Nothing. Just you two being pretty cozy. We didn't stay long. Wait a minute, are you blushing?"

Jocelyn's hands flew to her cheeks. "No!" She stood up in search for coffee.

"You are! Oh my God, Jossie, what did you guys do?!"

Shit! Her sister knew her too damn well!

"Nothing." She pretended to be too intent over searching for a coffee cup in her sister's cupboard.

"Liar! Did you guys have sex out there?!" She said the word sex as if it were a forbidden word.

Jocelyn sighed and closed the cupboard door, cup in hand. She poured the coffee and sat down again. "Alright, alright. Yes, we did. Are you happy now?"

"Damn, Joce, that's bold!"

"I know, I know. It was the frickin' alcohol and I swear the man has some kind of weird power over me."

"Did anyone know what you were doing?"

Jocelyn shook her head. "I don't think so. It didn't take very long." She laughed nervously. "And we just got dressed and left and that's when I felt the urgent need to barf. Oh, God, Vanna, I totally blew it!" She slapped her head with her hand.

"Why? Because you threw up in front of him? Shit, Joce, he's a celebrity. He's seen that lots of times I'm sure. Hell, he's probably done it lots of times! He won't care about that."

Nevertheless, Jocelyn's eyes filled with tears. "I was just so humiliated, so embarrassed. I didn't even acknowledge him afterwards. You walked out and all I could think of was to get the hell out of there. I didn't even say goodbye. He must think I'm a terrible person."

"Oh, honey, he doesn't. He likes you, I can tell." Savannah rubbed her sister's shoulder to comfort her. "And he was so nice after it all. He volunteered to tell the girls where we went. I didn't seen a trace of disgust or contempt, just concern, concern for you."

"Really?" Jocelyn looked at her and wiped her eyes with her hands. "Why did I even care anyway? It's not like I'll ever see him again."

"You will. I promise. Even if we have to have to go to the Cabana Club every night."

Jocelyn laughed at her sister's tenacity and ability to cheer her up.

"Thanks."

"So, I just have one more question." Savannah said.

"What?"

"How was he?"

"How as he-what?" And then it dawned on Jocelyn what she was talking about. "Is that all you think about? I'm not going to tell you!"

"Please tell so me so I can live vicariously through you. You know he's in all of my fantasies. At least give me something to think about."

Jocelyn looked at her sister.

"I'm kidding, but I still want to know." Savannah laughed.

Jocelyn shook her head and smiled. "All I will say is that if Nick Carter had a reputation for being a sexual god when it comes to pleasing woman, I'd say that reputation was well, very well earned."

Nick awoke with a thousand thoughts racing through his mind amidst a slight headache. Was Jocelyn okay? Would he ever see her again? He remembered the sex and how incredible it was and then he also recalled that Jocelyn had gotten sick afterwards. Was that the only reason she had made love to him - because she was drunk off her ass? And could it even be considered making love? It was more like a raw, primal lust between two people caught up in the heat of the moment where reasoning and rationale was not part of the equation. What about him? He was drunk, too-was that all it was? He knew there was more, but if he were to see her again, what then? Would it result in sex again or revert back to casual conversations or kissing? How could he go back when all he wanted to do was move forward-with her.

Nick swung his legs over the bed and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts. He walked over to his laptop and pulled it onto the bed. He got online and went to Google. God, I can't believe I'm going to actually Google her, he thought.

He typed in Jocelyn Gilbert hoping something would come up with that name. A few things popped up on the screen, but nothing about "his" Jocelyn Gilbert. He scrolled down and the name Gilbert, Savannah caught his eye. He clicked on the link. "Illustration Animation Compositing" with the links: Animation, Figures, Characters, Photography and some art images displayed below popped out at him. "Artistic Expression by Savannah Gilbert" was printed in bold. He glanced through her work and was impressed.

Okay, back to the task at hand, he thought and clicked on the back button. He then typed into the Goggle search box "phone number". The AnyWho Directory Reverse Look up directory popped up first and then underneath was the AnyWho Yellow and White Pages link. Nick clicked on that link. In the "Find A Person" boxes he typed in her first and last name and state. That's all he knew. After he clicked on the "search" button, two Jocelyn Gilbert's popped up. The first one had addresses in San Marino, California and Tampa Bay, Florida underneath and a San Marino phone number next to her name. Eureka! He quickly wrote down the number and exited the window. It was tempting to click on the "Jocelyn Gilbert - Phone number, address and public records available" link, but he wasn't going to snoop into her private life. He wanted to find that out from the woman herself. He wanted to find out much more about her...



>> 5

5: Denial

Damn, her answering machine picked up. Should I leave her a message? Nick wondered.

"Hello? Hello? *laughs* Just kidding. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you..." Beep!

Nick decided against it, so he hung up. Cute message though. He would try to call her later. Maybe she was at her sister's place. At any rate, he had things to do, so he got dressed and left.

Jocelyn arrived home a little before 1:00 pm, sleepy and still not feeling up to par. She walked by her answering machine and saw the message count was at zero. For some reason, she had hoped Nick had called. How can he call you? He doesn't have your phone number, remember?! She scolded herself.

Sighing, she trudged upstairs to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

It wasn't until 5:00 that she awoke out of her drug-like sleep. Groaning, she pulled herself out of bed and jumped in the shower. She felt better, but still groggy. After her shower, she pulled on some leggings and a white long-sleeved t-shirt, fluffing her hair with her fingers to air dry it.

Her stomach growled and she realized she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and even then, it wasn't much. Hmm, Cashew Chicken from China Bowl sounded good. She could veg on the couch with dinner and watch a movie.

Thirty minutes later, she was doing just that. Chopsticks in hand, she shoveled the delicious Chinese cuisine into her mouth as she laughed at "Must Love Dogs." She was halfway through the movie when her phone rang.

Trying to maneuver the remote and her plate, she set both of them down and ran to grab the phone.

"Hello?" She breathed heavily.

"Jocelyn? Hi, it's Nick."

"Nick? Uh, hi." She said, caught off guard.

"I got your phone number from the white pages online. I hope you don't mind." He held his breath. His heart beating wildly, doubts clouding his mind. Would she freak that he looked up her phone number? Would she think he's a stalker?

"Uh, I guess not."

Shit! She minds, he thought. You're an idiot, Nick!

Jocelyn pondered the matter. At first it kind of bothered her that he tracked her down so to speak because it was scary but at the same time it was flattering and she had already admitted to herself that she had wanted him to call her. Get over it, Jocelyn. She told herself.

"Are you sure? Hey, I didn't mean..." He began.

"No, it's cool Nick. I admit that at first it kind of freaked me out, but the more I think about it, it's a good thing. We can't keep running into each other at clubs and restaurants." She joked.

Nick laughed. "Yeah. So, how are you feeling? Better I hope."

He couldn't see it, but a bright red tinge spread across her face. "I do feel much better, thanks." Why was her heart beating a million miles a minute? "Hey, Nick, I'm sorry I bailed on your last night. I felt bad that I didn't even say goodbye."

His face softened, a smile curving on his lips. "No worries. You had other things going on."

Yeah, that was a nice way to put it, she thought. "Yeah, like barfing near the women's restroom in front of you. I felt so humiliated." She admitted.

Nick tried not to laugh, but she was so adorable. "Hey, it happens. It's happened to me but I usually make it to the bathroom." He teased.

"Gee, thanks-I think." She said sarcastically.

Nick chuckled. "But seriously, it's no big deal."

"Thanks and I appreciate you telling the girls where we were."

"No problem."

Silence hung in the air, both of them thinking about what happened before her "accident". Do they mention it or just chalk it up to being drunk and stupid and pretend it didn't happen? But who could pretend that? It had affected both of them.

"Nick... I... I just want you to know that I don't usually do what I... what we... did outside... and I'm sorry..." She struggled to put into words what she was feeling, embarrassment taking over again.

"Hey, why are you apologizing? It was great." He said honestly.

She smiled, feeling giddy, the old feeling of butterflies returning, the same feeling she felt whenever she was around him.

"Yeah, it was pretty great." She agreed, remembering how much she had come.

Yeah, I'd repeat it any time... Nick thought. But instead he said, "So, your sister seems pretty cool." He said.

"Yeah, she is. I'm lucky."

"Definitely." Nick told a deep breath and said, "So, do you have plans for New Year's Eve?"

"Oh! Yeah, I do. Savannah works at a gallery and that night she's throwing a party there."

"Oh, okay. Just thought I'd ask."

He sounds so disappointed, she thought. "Do you want to come?"

Nick brightened. "Sure, but is it okay?"

"Yeah. Savannah is bringing a date, I think my brother is, too and Brooke is bringing Garrett and Chelle, Russell."

"What about you? Weren't you bringing anyone?" He asked.

"No. I was going to go stag. Look, Nick, I'm not quite ready to start another relationship just yet and I'm pretty sure you're not either, so if you want to come as my friend, rather than my date, that would be awesome." It's better to break it to him now rather than later, but how could they go back to being just friends after they had had hot, wild sex already? It seemed kind of backwards, but it's all she could handle right now.

"That's cool. I totally get that. So, do you want me to pick you up or meet you there?"



***



New Year's Eve landed on a Wednesday this year, but thankfully Jocelyn didn't have to work the next two days. She planned to party hardy tonight, ringing in 2009 with good friends and family. And Nick was coming, so that was a bonus; a big fat bonus.

Jocelyn had taken great care shopping for her dress this evening. She ended up selecting a slinky black dress with spaghetti straps that hugged her breasts and floated above her legs provocatively. She had also purchased a pair of pointed-toed pumps with a sexy strap that wound around each ankle. Finishing off her outfit with a sparkly pair of rhinestone earrings and necklace, she was all set.

Nick arrived right on time at Jocelyn's San Marino home. Her heart beat wildly as she answered the door. She smoothed down her dress, knowing she looked good. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face.

She opened the door to a stunned Nick who was dressed handsomely in a black suit with a royal blue button down shirt. He was wearing a blue and black striped tie and the man never looked better or sexier in her eyes.

"Wow! You look gorgeous." Nick's jaw dropped as he gave her a hug.

"Thanks! You look really good, too." She smiled.

"These are for you." He said, handing her a bouquet of lavender roses. He had made sure they weren't red which would indicate they were more than just friends.

"These are beautiful! Come on in."

"Joce, your house is amazing." Nick followed her through the living room.

"Thank you. It's one of the perks of my divorce." She joked, but it still made her sad to think of herself as "divorced".

Nick nodded, thinking of his own situation. It's time to move on, buddy. You have a stunning woman before you; focus on that.

"So, let me put these in water and we can go."

"Jocelyn, Nick, hi!" Savannah gushed, hugging her sister and Nick.

"Vanna, don't you look sexy?!" Jocelyn cooed over her younger sister. Dressed in a bright red strapless dress that barely covered her ass, she was dressed to kill.

"You remember Justin, right?" She presented her boyfriend of the moment. It could change by next week, so Jocelyn tried not to get too attached her beaus.

"Yes, hi, Justin." Jocelyn shook his hand. She had to admit this one was hot. Slightly taller than Nick, he sported long light brown locks, his front part falling over one eye, blazing blue eyes and a hint of scruff on his chin.

As if Nick noticed she was dwelling on him too long, he gently nudged her forward towards the rest of her family and friends.

"So, this place is..." Nick searched for the right words, gazing at the artwork on the gallery's walls.

"Eclectic." Jocelyn supplied the word, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, eclectic." Nick said even though he wasn't quite sure what that meant. "So, you'll have to show me which pieces of art are Savannah's."

"Sure." They grabbed two flutes of champagne from a banquet table displayed in the middle of the room in the midst of black and gold glitter and sequins, party hats, streamers, noisemakers and hors doeuves.

Nick popped an egg roll into his mouth and Jocelyn giggled. "Hungry?" She teased.

Two hours later, the gallery was full of people and the music began making it increasingly difficult to carry on a conversation. Nick had been impressed with Savannah's paintings; he was even considering purchasing a particular watercolor of the ocean.

"She would pee her pants if you did." Jocelyn remarked.

Nick chuckled. Michael's Jackson's "Thriller" suddenly blared from the speakers and Nick began doing the dance from the video.

"Come on..." He said to Jocelyn.

She giggled and said, "Oh, no. I'm not that drunk." But she was. She had drained three glasses of champagne in their tour around the gallery and chatting with Savannah and Justin. Justin's gaze had made her nervous. Was it just her or did he seem to be eyeing her like a wolf eyes his prey? She chalked it up to her imagination because thinking beyond that was just unimaginable.

"I'll show you." Nick was urging her and Jocelyn found herself picking up the steps from him and having a damn good time. She was laughing and watching him move. God, that man can dance. She seen a Backstreet Boy video or two before and witnessed their skills, but seeing Nick up close and personal shaking his "bon bon" and smoothly executing steps impressed her-probably more than it should.

She looked around self consciously to see if anyone was watching and she was shocked to see that they had drawn a small crowd. And part of that crowd included photographers because she was suddenly blinded by multiple flashing lights.

"Oh..." She closed her eyes, seeing spots everywhere and feeling dizzy. She lurched towards Nick and he caught her in his strong arms saving her from a near fall. And of course, as they gazed into each other's stunned eyes, the paparazzi snapped away.

"Guys, come on, please." Nick said, a little perturbed at the intrusion.

"Yeah, no more pictures." A man said sternly, spreading his arms and pushing them towards the exit.

"Hey, are you alright? No more champagne for you." Nick teased Jocelyn, making sure she was standing upright on her own two feet again.

"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks."

"So, Jocelyn, what are you doing with Nick Carter?" The same man had returned and was now standing in front of them, smirking.

She looked up at the man, her mouth falling to the floor. Brody?! What was he doing here?And why did she suddenly feel dizzy again?



>> 6

6





>> 7

7





>> 8

8





>> 9

9





>> 10

10





>> 11

11





>> 12

12





>> 13

13





>> 14

14





>> 15

15





>> 16

16





>> 17

17





>> 18

18





>> 19

19





>> 20

20





>> 21

21





>> 22

22





>> 23

23





>> 24

24





>> 25

25





>> 26

26





>> Epilogue

Epilogue





THE END