A man resembling Jacob Underwood walked into the audition room.

HOWIE - You look like one of the guys from O-town.

He claimed he wasn't and that his name was Jacob Wonderfood. He kept repeating that he'd been singing since he was 3.

He gave a horrible performance of 'Rainin' Men.'

Kevin held his hand up to silence him.

KEVIN - ... That.... Was...

BRIAN - Hurry the hell up!

NICK - Don't yell!

KEVIN - You're... my cousin.

NICK - We know you're his cousin!

BRIAN - Bite your tongue, Nick!

NICK - You shut up!

AJ - Stop fighting! I can't take the pressure!

He pulled out a beer bottle filled with Pepto Bismol.

HOWIE - AJ... you're not supposed to be drinking.

AJ - Shut up. I'm not drinking.

NICK - It looks like you're drinking to me.

AJ - Since you're dating Paris Hilton, your opinion doesn't count.

NICK - What is that supposed to mean?

AJ - It means even I wouldn't sleep with her.

NICK(muttering under his breath) - That's only cause you already have.

AJ - Bitch.

BRIAN -Just throw the bottle away AJ. We'll pretend we never saw anything.

AJ - It's not alcohol.

KEVIN - That's a beer bottle.

AJ - But there's no beer in it.

Nick takes it and shakes the liquid around.

NICK - There's something in it.

AJ - It's pink. Is beer pink?

NICK - No, but you've got the money to make anything happen.

AJ - Are you saying I used my millions to buy pink beer?

NICK - That's exactly what I'm saying.

AJ started cursing.

Brian pulled out his bible and started quoting.

BRIAN - He maketh me to lie down in gree-.

AJ - Shut up!

BRIAN - You shut up!

AJ - Bastard.

Brian raised the bible up and hit AJ over the head with the bible.

AJ - Ow! Son of a bitch!

Brian's nostrils flared and the bible got sucked inside.

AJ cursed again.

He picked up his own chair and tossed it across the room, knocking out Justin Guarini, who was waiting in line to audition again.

Kevin motioned in the next person in line.

A well breasted brunette came in. She lip synced to a track she played on her portable walk man.

She giggled like an airhead, made reference to a 3 day marriage, and asked them what they thought.

BRIAN - Those aren't even the right words.

HOWIE - I'm Howie and I thought it was a very nice performance.

AJ - But it sucked dawg.

NICK - What was your name again?

GIRL - Britney Spears.

AJ escorted her out of the room.

NICK - Who's next?

BRIAN - I think we should wait for AJ to come back.

NICK - Ok.

HOWIE - So uh.... When are we meeting Ryan Seacrest?

They all stared at him.

HOWIE - No reason... Just wondering.

AJ came back in with his shirt untucked and his hair a mess.

AJ - I just went for a walk.

TO BE CONTINUED....

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